Thursday, June 12, 2008
Life is unfair, unpredictable and fragileI have tonnes of work that needs to be completed but i have totally no mood to do it.. haiz...
I just received news today that one of my poly mates passed away while having training in Brunei.. He passed away due to heat exhaustion...
When i heard the news i was like dam freaking shocked.. its like, "that cannot be.. he's only 21 this year.. he couldn't have passed away".. but sadly, it has been confirmed that it was he who passed away yesterday..
its not only sad to have died at such a young age but to die in a foreign land w/o your love ones around you.. moreover, he was having training and i believe he could not contact his gf the last few days...
gf.. i feel really sorry for her.. not being there.. not able to do anything.. the helpless feeling is torturous.. when i saw his friendster and saw friends leaving him comments, i really started tearing..
although i wasn't close to him, he was still after all a poly mate and from my encounters with him, he was a gentleman... very nice guy who was always smiling and happy-go-lucky.. but its like, even though i din know him well, its....
i broke down when dear called me just now.. i kept thinking, 'what if it happened to me instead".. i really dun know what will i do.. i really dun know.. i so want to hug him and feel his presence.. i wanted so badly to see him to know that he is ok.. i suddenly felt so scared..
haiz.. life is so unpredictable, so fragile, so unfair.. he had a promising future ahead of him.. and yet, he had to go at such a young age...
Clifton, although we dun really know each other, the impression that u left on me was that u are one great guy.. I'm so sorry that you have to leave this world so soon.. i send my heartfelt condolences to your family, your gf and friends.. i hope that where ever u are now, u are at peace..
school sucks, works sucks, life sucks.. i'm so desperately trying to find a glimmer of light somewhere.. =(
Ywill you fufill my dream this summer?
4:07 PM
Friday, May 30, 2008
Why in the world would freaking tourists wan memberhip for??? is not as if they will be staying here for long.. nor i doubt they will be coming here every single month... WTF!!!
i'm getting quite sick of working at this ferris wheel... oops.. its actually the GIANT OBSERVATION WHEEL... WHATEVER!!! feeling dam freaking pissed off..
pissed off with work.. pissed off with school.. pissed of with friends.. pissed off with life... i'm just freaking PISSED!!!!
1:49 PM
Monday, May 12, 2008
Downfeeling down.. just feel like crying... i cant call him.. i dun wan to add on to his burden.. feel so alone... =(
Ywill you fufill my dream this summer?
9:56 PM
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Best working day everi'm actually working right now.. taking the hot middle seat at promenade.. yet, amazingly i am still able to blog.. hahaha.. actually i spent the whole morning online window shopping, looking through friendster and other many "illegal" activities... lol...
but i'm not alone.. on my left is evelyn and on my right is huda.. both playing online game and competing with each other.. hahaha... shiok...
anyway, i am bored now which is why i am blogging these "illegal" activities.. wakaka... furthermore to add on to the thrill and excitment, there are two supervisors on duty now.. and the best part, one of them is actually Jamie.. lol.. SHIOK!!
School started this week with my first lesson yesterday.. unfortunately will be taking "Tourism managment" which is some what similar to that of "sustainable tourism".. Pengz... talking about ST, my results for the previous trimester has not been released which makes things even more frustrating.. imagine you dun even know whether u have passed the previous modules which are required for the next few modules and yet you have to take those modules... SIANZ!!!!
moreover, we combined with BCOM2 and i only have one word to describe them ROWDY!!! they are super noisy and irritating.. within one lesson, 1 guy managed to pissed me off.. idiot.. imagine, i have to spent 3 months with them and i just started the trimester.. HAIZ!!!!
Anyway, dear also started his class yesterday.. the bugger school, din inform him that the class location had change and my poor dear went to school confused.. stupid school.. anyway, he managed to get to class in one piece.. =)
Well well, its 230pm now.. yipee.. that means afternoon shift people are being brief and will be here shortly.. time to count my money and prepare to leave... YIPEE!!
how i wish every working day is like today.. life will be SOOOOOOOOOOOO Good!!! =)
Ywill you fufill my dream this summer?
2:21 PM
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
if only...
if only girls din have emotions...
then they they wun have mood swings..
if only girls dun think so much..
then maybe they wun get hurt so often..
if only girls dun plan...
just go with the flow like guys, then maybe they wun feel disappointed when things turn out differently..
if only girls dun dream..
then we wun have expectations and get hurt when they dun come true..
if only girls dun complain..
then guys wun have to hear the constant nagging and complaints..
if only girls dun compare..
then we wun feel insecure and feel more confident about ourselves..
if only..
every time arguments surface, my heart breaks into two, my tears flow uncontrollably and i loose my mood to do anything.. i start thinking why did things end up this way, do i really love u, because if i did i wouldn't be arguing with u in the first place.. i start wondering whether I'm a good gf, whether is it all my fault that things turn out this way.. over the phone i can blame u, but once the conversation is over i blame myself.. my confidence level drops, my insecurities surface, i feel lost and emotional...
it sucks to argue.. especially when its over small little things.. like whether or not i should go find u.. u made me feel like i couldn't be bothered about my own studies.. that everything is just a game for me.. if that's the case i wouldn't feel agitated when i got back my results for my field report.. i wouldn't slog through the nights after work just to complete an assignment.. so how can u say that my studies are not important.. that really hurt..
its not that i dun know how to prioritise.. i do.. i woke up early in the morning to finish my studies hoping that in the evening i could go take care of u.. hoping that i could enjoy a happy meal of botak jones fish and chips.. i was hoping that i could lay on the bed next to u and watch u play ur WOW while i watch tv and go through my notes.. i was intending of reading my notes on the train to get all the points memorise.. so why couldn't u let me go as plan..
i just want u to appreciate that no matter what i do i have u in mind.. i study so hard to ensure that i can land a good job and earn money for our future.. i work and study to earn the extra pocket money so that u dun have to pay on every date... i plan my work schedule in a way to ensure that u are able to go raid and also that i have time to study and spend time with u.. every time i go shopping i wish to buy something for u.. i dun even mind if i dun get anything for myself..
u might say that studying hard and everything is for my own benefit, its for my own future.. but i already have included u in my future, so how can i plan it without u in mind.. i tried.. i tried planning things not caring about u, not giving a dam.. but in the end it just feels so wrong..
everything i do i do it with u in mind.. when my parents ask me out for movies i ask them whether i can bring u along cos i know u want to watch them too.. when its a family dinner, i ask them whether i can ask u to join us so that u can feel part of the family.. even the upcoming holiday i made sure that my dad bought tickets for us to join them on a later date.. i know u haven been overseas for a long time so i wanted to make sure that u could take the chance to have a full-expense paid trip with me..
so y do i feel so crappy.. why do i feel that no matter what i do i can never make u happy.. why? is it really me or is it the relationship?
6:30 PM
Monday, April 14, 2008
UpdateI got a shortage of $8 bucks which i had to forked out on Saturday...
I had an excess of $40 plus bucks on Sunday...
so by logic, i should be able to keep the excess money right? wakakaka..
sadly, DREAM ON KIMBERLY... lol...
anyway, it was hectic on Sunday... even though i was at carpark ticketing booth, which is actually known as "hell" since its not in the main building and on weekdays its like super quiet, IT WAS SUPER BUSY!!!
din get to sit down till about 8 plus that day.. dam crowded.. and sadly, i was the IC for that day... phengs.. i'm just glad that they din throw me at promenade.. heard the queeue went all the way till the other side.. wakaka.. poor steffi... hee...
anyway, i should be thankful that my partners for that day was Wei Zhong and Alicia, and not forgetting Diana who was on mid-shift.. if it were some other certain people i think i could have just killed myself man... seriously..
sadly, i stayed till close to midnight as there were many problems that need to be settled.. not only mine but my other colleagues as well.. luckily i managed to catch the last train home..
anyway, lesson learnt, DUN BE A KIND SOUL AND HELP OUT ON SUNDAY!!! wakaka...
ur chest is surprisingly very comfortable to sleep on >.<
Ywill you fufill my dream this summer?
10:18 PM
Sunday, April 13, 2008
WorkI finally manage to get the songs that i was looking for.. but darn it, i can't seem to upload it on my blog.. stupid imeem...
anway, will onluy upload the title and stuff after i manage to upload the music onto my blog site... hahaha.. shall keep it a surprise.. cos the music doesn't seem my type of music.. lol.. surprises, surprises... >.<
its 0100 hrs and i'm not yet asleep... and I HAVE WORK TML!!! kinda regretting of promising them that i'll work in PM shift.. expecially after what i went through today at Promenade...
seriously, i never ever worked at promenade on a weekend before.. i am well known as the Last minute queen, which certainly suits my personalily (lol), as i was place there for like consecutively 1 month every saturday.. pengs.. then after that i moved to car park ticketing booth which is in a world of its own... sianz..
finally, i manage to secure a place in promenade.. lol.. and i took the grand sit.. the middle of the lot.. lol.. anyways, to cut long story short, i had a shortage of $165 BUCKS... DAM...
at that point in time i tot my heart would stop sia.. thats like 1 week of my pay thrown out of the window la... first time see such a figure man.. pengz..
luckily manage to find out that it was system error.. all thanks to the fickle minded taxi drivers... but shall leave that for another entry.. it shall be titled
"The ugly side of Singaporeans"
wakaka... seriously, the service line really lets u see the ugly side of people man.. especially when u encounter both tourists and Singaporeans, u will find that Singaporeans are like c***... dam saddening la..
anyway, back to the topic.. in the end it was a shortage of $8.90 and couldn't think of why would there be such an amount.. in the end i just forked out the money as my brain was like already dead.. sleeping at 1am and waking up at 520am.. confirm brain dead.. plus, my sales was like $5,000 plus la.. can u imagine the stress..
and i've been forewarn by Jamie that Sunday will be much much worse.. GOD... and unfortunately, i'm IC at carpark.. haiz.. i tot carpark would be dam boring but according to my colleagues, last Sunday the queeue went all the way to the other side.. pengz...
Good luck to Kimberly... i think she will need all the help she can get.. haiz..
can i just continue sleeping in ur arms..
Ywill you fufill my dream this summer?
12:56 AM
