When I started this blog, I had no intentions of posting any photos of myself or anything that could indicate who I am. Mainly because along the years, I have come across people who would actually google me and judge me based on the entries that I wrote or the pictures that I post of myself. Which is why my previous livejournal blog was private and only meant for my viewing.
I won't deny that I have contemplated making this blog private as well just so that this platform becomes my personal avenue for me to share my thoughts, dreams, believes. To rant when I need to or to share snippets of my life whether good or bad. It's a place for me to express myself freely as sometimes, writing it out is more therapeutic then sharing it with actual people.
Today, or rather yesterday since I'm writing this at 4am in the morning, I had a Skype conversation with my gf who's thousand of miles away in Scotland. Miss her dearly and wish she was here with me but I'll settle for Skype calls and virtual hugs from her for the time being. Anyway, we were talking about how we need to love ourselves first and that we should be more narcissistic.
I've always had low self confidence in how I look and always feel that one reason why I'm single till date it's because of how I look. That even with my outstanding character and personality, guys are just too superficial nowadays. Hence my reluctance to post pictures on this blog.
But my talk with her has made me realize that regardless who I fall in love, that person should love me for who I am and that I should love myself for who I am. Sure I can change and become prettier. But at the end of the day, my features define who I am. And if the guy is going to judge me based on how I look, then frankly that guy is not worth my love, care and attention.
I should be able to be comfortable with myself. Be true to myself and be who I am. Not having to put on an act or pretend to be someone that I'm not. Cos lets face it, I'm looking for a long term companion. Not a fling or something short term. And if I have to keep on putting on an act, I'm just gonna tire out real fast. Besides, the truth will always come out at the end of the day.
Hence, decided that since this is MY blog, I should post whatever I want to without having to bother or worry about what others think. Like my favorite quote from Dr Seuss; "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind doesn't matter and those who matter don't mind"
So after that conversation with her, decided to be narcissistic and take some selfies. It's been some time since I took pictures of myself so decided why not. I'll admit that filters were use to correct my complexion since thanks to a sudden breakout last year, my complexion got from bad to worst. Thankfully it's slowly clearing up but still has some way to go.
And yes, while I should post pics of me in my true form, I am overall still vain and conscious and thus still seek the help of filters to hide certain imperfections. But apart from that, no other editing is done on my pictures. This shall be my little disclaimer. Hahaha!
So without further ado, I shall end this post with narcissistic shots of myself. =)
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